CHAPTER - 1
"God, i'm so lucky to have you in my life! ", he said as he tightened his grip over my hips as he looked into my eyes.
I felt lost as I stared into his melting chocolate brown eyes, his eyebrows giving them an enhanced effect.
An uneasy feeling stirs inside of me. Did i consider it worthwhile it give in my heart to pain and betrayal again?? Would I be able to withstand more pain?
"No, don't say that. You don't deserve me, I don't even deserve myself, I'm just a pathetic waste of space..." I trail off, I turn away as I couldn't bear to breakdown in front of him once again.
He was quick to grab my arm. "But Jesse, I love you. Please don't underestimate yourself. I promise you that I will be with you forever. Because, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. "
"Forever is a long time, Alex. Nobody can bear me for so long. You'll eventually get tired of me and leave. It's better if you just do it now. " I said as i sat myself down on the pavement.
"Will you just listen to me?" He said as he seated himself beside me. " You are and forever will be my everything, okay? For I am head over heels in love with you, because you're f*cking beautiful and each one of your imperfections is so perfect to me. I absolutely love everything about you.
I love the way you smile at every silly thing that you do. I love your enthusiasm to try new things. I love the way your eyes light up when you smile. I love the very different gestures that you go through in a day. They make you look so beautiful. I love the way you put others before you and take care of everybody. How you always check up on me. And ask if I've eaten. I love so many things about you. Everything, every single little detail about you I absolutely love. I may not be perfect but I'm absolutely lucky to have you, you are my one true love. "
Tears begin to brim my eyes and trickle down with a constant flow. I'm going to lose my mind. Why must Alex be so perfect.
"But, Alex... "
"Shhh... No buts Jesse, Will you just trust me on this. " He said as he engulfed me in a huge bear hug.
"You want to go for a ride? " He queried.
"Yes. " my voice sounded barely audible.
"Let's go!" he said as he ushered me towards his bike. He handed me one of our matching helmets, "Safety first, always " he said as he planted a small kiss on my nose. I flushed.
I strapped the helmet on and hopped onto the pillion seat. The bike roared as we were off.
The steady breeze caressed my cheeks ridding me of my insecurities for now. I clasped myself tighter onto him, kissing his shoulder and resting my cheek on it. Comfortable silence loomed around us as the ride was a smooth one. Finally, the bike came to a halt.
Hopping off, I see that he had brought us to our favorite hideaway, which was a beautiful mounting clearing. It was almost sunset and the view in front of us was breath-taking.
Alex took ahold of my hand, filling the space between my fingers with his and squeezed it in a way that sent chills all over my body.
We then, proceeded towards our usual spot, which was under a huge sycamore tree. As we sat ourselves down, we became lost in a world of our own.
"Alex?"
"Hmm..."
"I've something to say to you..."
"What is it princess? "
I took a deep breath and ran my fingers through my hair.
'Past experiences haunt me like a ghost, even today. Ever since Ivan dug a deep hole in my heart, my life and i have never been the same way. I was broken, dead inside. And the truth is that i actually believed that i deserved this pain. 4 years passed by as i continued to live with this giant lump in my throat,that never went away. My life was in agony and i would've given anything to just run away from it all. Ivan ws the best and worst thing that ever happened to me. Have you ever felt this feeling where you are so much in love with a person that it actually hurts?? Insecurities took over his mind that he shattered me and my heart and made me a broken doll. A doll that nobody wanted to play with. My life became horrible and meaning less... Then, you came in, and made every thing happy and content again... And I feel like i'm not doing you any justice. After all, such a perfect person doesn't deserve or need this pathetic broken doll'
I said as I completely broke down. Tears kept streaming down non-stop.
Alex moved to sit parallel to me, face to face, he then proceeded to wipe away my tears. His fingers found their way beneath my chin and lifted it so that he could look into my eyes.
"Jesse, look at me, I don't know much about this Ivan or what he has done to you. But, I do know that someday, you are going to tell me what happened, and i will be here to listen to every word that you say. And, don't you ever talk down about yourself again! You may call yourself a broken doll, but I'm here to fix up that broken heart, because it kills me that such a beautiful person has been dealt a shitty hand in life.
You don't deserve to look at yourself in this way.
You deserve to be pampered and appreciated, which is exactly what i intend to do with you from this day forward. I still remember the first time I met you, you gave away so much positive vibes, with that beautiful smile of yours. But then, when i got to know you better, i found this damaged person who just made me fall much more in love with you.
So, today, I'm going to make a promise to you that I'm going to try my best to make you trust me and moreover trust yourself, for you are my one true love. I love you Jesse, and I always will, I promise "
Soon after he said this he leaned forward and gave me one of his very fabulous kisses, that always get butterflies going in my stomach.
Tears made their way down my cheeks, but this time they were happy ones. This person in front of me is going to change my life for the better, I'm sure of it. And I was not going to restrict myself from it.
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